So many creeps, so many selfish apologies.

It is the year of our lord 2017 and everyone is sorry. I’m sorry we’re here, you’re sorry you have to read this, and the parade of high profile sexual offenders are the sorriest of all.

Louis C.K. is sorry that he’s so famous and so admired that whipping his dick out caused women to be upset (even though he totally asked first, you guys). Harvey Weinstein is sorry that he grew up in the 1960s and 1970s. Al Franken? He’s just sorry he let everybody down. (Minus the 36 SNL alum who swear he treated them with nothing but “respect and regard.” Which I guess will not be the title of his inevitable tell-all.) But not as sorry as Kevin Spacey, who’s sorry that Anthony Rapp has terrible memories of him.

“I owe him the sincerest apology for what would have been deeply inappropriate drunken behavior,” Spacey wrote. Because yes: It would have been pretty bad had he come onto an underaged young man in this hypothetical situation that Spacey would like us to believe never happened.

So congrats! Everyone is sorry! (You get a sorry, and you get a sorry, and you get a sorry!) Now, Matt Lauer is the latest carrier of the sorry torch.

“To the people I have hurt, I am truly sorry,” he said in a statement following his firing from NBC for sexual misconduct. “As I am writing this, I realize the depth of the damage and disappointment I have left behind at home and at NBC.”

And had he just left it, we at least would’ve been an apology on-par with Jack Burger’s in Sex and the City when Burger dumps Carrie Bradshaw by leaving a Post-It: “I’m sorry, I can’t, don’t hate Read More Here